HOW TO BE AN ALIEN

3rd year students are working on How to be an Alien (1946), by George Mikes. It is a classic of British humour that has sold an incredible number of copies. It pokes gentle fun at the English and their relationship with foreigners, "alien" meaning in this context any non-English person. The book is characterised by much humour, affection and a total lack of rancour or bitterness. Mikes, an immigrant from Hungary, demonstrated not only his knowledge of English society but an insight into the English language.

3rd year students are going to translate some quotes from the book. The aim is to offer the best possible version of the texts into good Spanish.

Humorous Quotes from George Mike's How to be an Alien

People on the continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth. The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead. Continental people have sex life; the English have hot-water bottles. In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your personal view that two and two make four, but you must not state it in a self-assured way, because this is a democratic country and others may be of a different opinion. When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony; but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : "We are not amused". Bargaining is a repulsive habit; compromise is one of the highest human virtues - the difference between the two being that the first is practised on the Continent, the latter in Great Britain. Always be original. It is not as difficult as it sounds : you just have copy the habits and sayings of a few thousand others. Nice people are those who say silly things in good English - nasty people are those who drop clever remarks as well as their aitches. In the old days the man who had no money was not considered a gentleman. In the era of an enlightened Mayfair this attitude has changed. A gentleman may have money or may sponge on his friends; the criterion of a gentleman is that however poor he may be he still refuse to do useful work. England is the only country in the world where you have to leave your lights on even if you park in a brilliantly lit-up street. The advantage being that your battery gets exhausted, you cannot start up again and consequently the number of road accidents are greatly reduced. An English town is a vast conspiracy to mislead foreigners.